Decorating Trends are Shaping (and Limiting) Our Homes
We all want our homes to feel beautiful, peaceful, and pulled together. The world we live in is tough, and like many millennials, I’ve hit my limit of living through unprecedented times. Some precedented times would be great.
After decades of chaos and uncertainty, it’s no wonder we are all turning to familiar and safe decorating trends to make our homes beautiful. We are keen to go with what we know, which is a deeply ingrained survival tactic.
The only problem is… it kinda makes all of our homes look the same. I’m sure there are a lot of readers who will know exactly what I mean when I say ‘cloud couch’. These “tried and true” styles that have been popularized by designers like Joanna Gaines and Shea McGee do work to achieve a level of beauty and peace in our home – but do they do enough to make us feel at home?
I want to explore how the very systems that have made us feel unsafe are also the same systems that have created what many are calling a monoculture. Where conformity, a “cut and paste” identity, and the pressure to ‘get it right’ have stripped away our sense of identity and integrity at home.
It All Starts with Social Media
I love and hate social media in almost equal measure. I have found so much inspiration, joy, and true connection online over the years that I don’t want to take back. And yet, I’m also part of the last generation of people who had a childhood before social media, and I can clearly identify a before and after in my life.
We know that social media algorithms have been created to show us exactly what we want to see and to keep us engaged for as long as possible. This means the little online communities we join to share our interests – in my case, interiors, gardening, politics, and books – are little microcosms of opinions and values.
A great example of this was the US election last year, when I was so tuned into the Democratic echo chamber online that I was genuinely shocked when Harris didn’t win the election.
This example shows how easy it is to get caught up in a bubble of opinions that can influence our ability to understand the reality of the world. On my feeds, I couldn’t get away from the hope, energy, and positivity of the Harris campaign, which made it shocking when the cheeto man won. This was a really important lesson for me to learn, even though I thought I was aware of the influence of being in a bubble.
Interiors work the same way. The decorating trends that we know and love show up time and time again and influence the way we see the world. They’re a fantastic way to gain inspiration, especially if you don’t see yourself as naturally creative or stylish, and give regular people a blueprint for creating a beautiful home.
How Familiarity Becomes Style (Even When It’s Not Yours)
I was trying to figure out how to put this idea into words when I was introduced to the term mere exposure effect which “describes our tendency to develop preferences for things simply because we are familiar with them” (Source: The Decision Lab).
The way social media platforms curate our feeds means that we often see the same styles and designers over and over again. I could sit here for 20 minutes and just talk through popular decorating trends of the last five years, like using boucle fabric, arching doorways, using pale, light wood tones, and the all-white everything palette. I’m sure you’ve also seen these things pop up all over!
The idea behind mere exposure therapy is that “there is that quick and easy stimulus recognition that produces a sense of familiarity, and familiarity is largely perceived as positive because it signals safety.” And in a world that feels increasingly unsafe and precarious, it’s no surprise that we’ve turned to these trends to bring ourselves comfort, even if we don’t realize what we’re doing.
But this constant exposure can skew our sense of identity and lead us to decorate our homes in a way that relies on trends over intuition or creativity. This is no accident in the grand capitalist scheme. Stripping away individuality and upping the exposure to certain ideas, values, and aesthetics has always been a tool used to control people, and social media is the express train delivering it straight to our doorsteps.
Style vs. Self: Why Familiar ≠ Fulfilling
Social media also has a way of making us feel like we aren’t enough. Our homes aren’t pretty enough, our clothes aren’t stylish enough, our vacations aren’t luxurious enough… and on and on.
Our insecurities are constantly being fed with a steady stream of images and messages that keep us feeling small and second-guessing our own tastes. There’s a reason why many people decorate their homes completely, only to feel the urge to start again a few years later. We follow decorating trends because they feel familiar and stylish, and then the next trend comes forward, and suddenly, the room we were proud of doesn’t meet the mark.
In this cycle, buying new things becomes the way to find comfort and reassurance, and we end up on a rollercoaster of consumption that can leave us feeling hollow. At its worst, it might even bring up feelings of shame. Not because of who we are, but because we were promised that beauty would bring contentment, and it didn’t.
This is what makes my heart hurt. This is why I believe that our homes can change our lives. Because home can fuel our self-worth or feed our insecurities. If we’re trying to create a home that is beautiful, peaceful, and pulled together, then we need to learn how to deepen our understanding of our wants, needs, desires, and dreams and how to find genuine inspiration in the content we’re being fed. (This is also why I don’t like labelling design styles, but that’s a whole other blog post that I want to write someday).
The Importance of Intentional Familiarity
If familiarity is so important in making us feel safe, how can we use this to our advantage?
Like most millennials, I am deeply nostalgic. If you want to put me in a good mood, just put on any Hannah Montana or Hilary Duff song, and I will be immediately happy. I think nostalgia is a great first step in creating a sense of familiarity that is true to our history, instead of familiarity that was manufactured by an algorithm.
This could be a colour palette from your Grandma’s house, a scent that reminds you of a beloved family member, or a style of furniture you grew up with. Perhaps it’s the elements that remind you of your favourite movie growing up – hello, Nancy Meyers movie sets – or the feeling of fabric that reminds you of your childhood bed sheets.
This is true familiarity. The kind that almost overwhelms us with comfort when we step into our childhood home and breathe in the scent of our mum’s perfume or dad’s famous stew.
Bringing It All Together
Your home is not just a container for your life — it can be your guide back to yourself.
Our homes act as a mirror. They can help us uncover our insecurities, fears, and secret shame, and equally, they can help us practice self-love, gratitude, creativity, and freedom. I like to think of my home as my practice ground. It’s a place where I can comfortably try new things, make mistakes, and learn about myself so that when I step out into the world, I have a strong foundation that keeps me grounded in my unique identity.
I have absolutely fallen into the trap of familiarity bias of decorating trends and bought pieces that don’t reflect my style or values, and I’ve also discovered genuine parts of my style because of trends. As with everything, style is a balancing act.
I want to validate something that isn’t said enough: if your “perfect” home doesn’t make you happy, you’re not doing anything wrong.
You’ve followed all the rules.
You’ve done what the world told you to do.
It’s just maybe what the world wants you to need and buy… It isn’t what you want or need from your home.
If you’re curious about how to tune in to your inner knowing so you can create a home full of soul, I’m giving away my entire design process for free (yes, free!) through my newsletter. My guidebook, Secrets to a Soulful Home, takes you through exercises, prompts, and templates to help you design a space that’s rooted in your truth.
I hope it helps you discover your truest and most beautiful self.
Need support transforming your home into your personal sanctuary?
My virtual holistic design packages are here to help. We will work together and consider style, function, and lifestyle to ensure the end result is not only beautiful, but also supports your mental, physical, and emotional wellness.
